Prisoner

Anna Nemzer

Contents

Copyright

Part 1

1. Order no 227

2. The Afghan captive

3. The prisoner of the Caucasus

4. Order no 270

Part 1

1. * * *

2. The bookbinder

3. Trigger

4. The binding

Translator’s notes

About the Author

Prisoner

by Anna Nemzer

Translated by Ronan Quinn

Published with the support of the Institute for Literary Translation, Russia

Book created by Max Mendor

Plen (Prisoner), originally published in Russian by AST, Moscow, Elena Shubina imprint, as “Плен” in 2013.

© 2013, Anna Nemzer

© 2016, Glagoslav Publications, United Kingdom

Glagoslav Publications Ltd

88-90 Hatton Garden

EC1N 8PN London

United Kingdom

www.glagoslav.com

ISBN: 978-1-78437-976-6 (eBook)

This book is in copyright. No part of this publication may be  reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.

Part I

1

Order no 227

On Tuesday they were to execute an Uzbek deserter but the soldiers refused to shoot. In truth, they had refused so that nobody else would, but each one was hoping that he would be the last to shoot, and that no one would notice his simulation. And the same for all eighteen people. The order and then silence. The Divisional Commander pretended that nothing had happened! Once more the order! And again silence. (In actual fact, such things happen. Strange but there was nothing too odd.) They would all stand at twenty paces and watch. But this unhappy Uzbek began by burying his head in some birch tree, begging God and the birch tree, he didn’t find any other tree. But when no one shot the second time, he rushed off and escaped. Then some bolt turns in the soldier’s head, and if he hasn’t already shot at close range, he stops the fugitive, the traitor. At any price! Catch and disarm! Therefore when the Uzbek ran off, the shots themselves began to thunder without an order. And the Divisional Commander again reacted as if nothing had happened. Well the same for the others.

This was on Tuesday, but on Wednesday a telegram arrived for Gelik, which woke him at sunrise: ‘Come quickly, Father is very ill. Alexandra.’

And a load off his mind. What fine fellows, how good!

He ran at once to the headquarters, without washing, or brushing his hair, nothing. He put on his belt, while running as the sweet phrases of the rapport were going around in his head: ‘Due to . . . allow me to submit . . .’ only he didn’t know there, what to attribute it to finally, since he hadn’t been home for two years, from the very start. And he decided for the time being not to write, not to rely heavy on pity, but simply to explain the situation in the most business-like tone.

He wrote it. Handed it in.

‘Smooth your hair! Good! Lieutenant, cunt . . . Gaer!’

He stood to attention: ‘Yes, sir!’

‘Go fuck yourself!’

This one was from the intelligentsia, he swore with emphasis and with the polite ‘you.’

Returning is also like flying. The morning is so murky and dreary, it's only six o’clock, but you can’t lie down and finish sleeping any more, although you have a chill from lack of sleep and aching gums (due to the wisdom tooth cutting painfully for the fifth day), and as if all of this wasn't tough and murky enough, like the tooth ache, through a milky curtain the wretched sunshine breaks, and only worse it's blinding. But! The telegram warms.

The whole of the previous half year with Alka went more or less regularly, although it was a painful correspondence indeed. She didn’t understand an-yth-ing! and Father didn’t understand. But Gelik quietly carried on. Finally, something would suddenly begin to get through to them, but then, they would also get another anecdote. He was not able to tell them the exact place of his sojourn, but simply by way of an experiment, in order to train them, he wrote: ‘Now I'm? . . . Do you remember these books, that I left you on my table before my departure? Work it out by the name of the author.’ He left a little collection of the poems of Bely and the ‘Little Housewife of the Big House.’ So they didn’t seem to know about the existence of the little town of Bely and in total seriousness, the saintly people, they decided that he had been sent on a secret mission to London.

Later, out of the blue, Alya wrote: ‘These days brought me unpleasantness. Now I'm about to make a big decision. I can't write in detail, but try to understand: they are proposing to work with Nadya, Katya, Vera and Dora . . .’

He jumped up suddenly, can you imagine, what an intelligent girl! And only a moment later he was taken aback, oh the poor girl! What would she do? But after a couple of letters, the phrase flashed up: ‘Vera and Dora are not worried at the moment.’ Relief.

But he himself wrote every time: asking after Father, whether he is ill? I worry about you, about you, about you.

And there they understood, good people. Like three days ago still a cheerful, a shockingly cheerful letter arrived from father, with a little parcel and a postscript: ‘My sunshine, acned Gelios! I wanted to send you chocolate, but Varvara Erofeeyevna said that you’re well fed so instead I'm sending you tarragon.’ They made themselves powerfully ill with laughter. ‘Eat well!’ and he himself laughed, but he was already irritated: well what are they there generally, do they think straight? ‘I feel decent, as long as you, my sunshine, are healthy.’

In six months his efforts are killed by one phrase. Honesty, her mother.

But here suddenly a precious telegram.

. . . He had only just stretched out on the bed, he had fallen into a blissful dream, a short dream, contemplating every minute of his illegality and short life span and that is why he felt shamefully sweet. And they were already shouting over his ear, a violent, clumsy foul language: Polevoy!

He jumped! Present! Yes sir!

‘I will kill you some day. You found time to snooze! Blockhead!’

Something happened either in our section or in theirs, but it was impossible to understand anything.

‘Quickly! I will wait for him here!’

And they rushed to their section.

Running Gelik was finding out the details from Polevoy. Something was strange. Like the Divisional Commander Baev had drunk himself to hell. A mad Lieutenant just rushed in and, hiccuping, said that the Divisional Commander had locked himself in in his place and fired from foolishness without hitting anything. People! They started to force their way towards him, as he watched, suddenly opened the door and bang! Panchenko grabbed him. He shot him in the leg, the calf, the bone was not hurt, but what is it, Mummy?!! Panchenko was in the infirmary, the surgeon looked at him and took him by the head; but Baev dug himself in, three fighters gathered under the little window, the ones he could get hold of and he was allowed to shout orders from the little window. And what do you order the fighters to do? The fighters, the cretins, obey, and he cursed benevolently some nonsense of the sea-ding dong: surveying compass! Protractor! And if someone isn't listening to him, he fires straight at that person, the bitch! And he shouts: 'squadron, shoot! Bottoms up!'

(But here are brackets, because the artillery team . . . I know from childhood, what an artillery team is. I know in particular that there is no such thing as ‘squadron, shoot!’

Before the weapon produces a shot, shells should be enclosed in it, hence the team should be given the option of a shell; next there should be some fire: active, the platoon or of the whole battery, continuous or with intervals, and then most important is how the barrel of the weapon should be inclined towards the horizon (such as a protractor) and how the barrel should be turned relatively to the sides of the light (such as a compass).

Around this time, while Gelik found himself near Bely, another friend of Grandmother’s, Seryozha O, was fighting in the Ukraine. The heaviest operation took place, and from out of nowhere journalists from ‘Pravda’ appeared.

‘Coverage from the scene of the action, comrade Senior Lieutenant,’ exclaimed one of them, loyally looking Seryozha in the eye. ‘Literally from the thick of it, comrade Senior Lieutenant!’

It brought them difficulties. But not just that.

‘This is what we wanted to ask you, comrade Senior Lieutenant! Today is a holiday, the birthday of our great writer, Maxim Gorky! We couldn’t, well, dedicate the operation to him?’

‘What?’

‘Well, I mean this, comrade Senior Lieutenant! You in the detachment should mark this important date for all of us! Something like: ‘Forward! For our Gorky! Well, something like that, comrade Senior Lieutenant! So that our fighters are inspired in heroic deeds in the name of our great writer!’

He touched his temple with his finger and said: lads come out of there.

And they kind of went.

After a couple of days he suddenly noticed that the older officers were looking at him strangely somehow, looking and laughing. He put up with it for a while, but then he couldn’t contain himself and went to find out what the problem was.

‘How about it,’ one of them answered laughing. ‘We read about you in ‘Pravda.’ ‘Battles on the front lines!’ The fearless Senior Lieutenant O, breaking his voice, shouted at his soldiers: ‘With the riff-raff brothers! For our Gorky! For the heart of Danko! For your mother and your motherland, shoot!’ Well there is still more there too . . .’

And Seryozha remembered this little article for a long time, it was worth his while to play his part, the officers began to laugh: ‘But Senior lieutenant O! This is for our Gorky!’

Well then. But Baev, entrenched at a pleasant distance, shouted something exactly in this manner, if it's not for Gorky, then it's certainly for the motherland, for Stalin, the squadron, fire, and such nonsensical, craziest co-ordinates; but these nitwits, under his window, in trousers of course, dutifully, like gophers, carry out all this nonsense: the gun fire settles for the second hour through the whole settlement, and the Divisional Commander does not come on the airwaves.

That is what Polevoy told Gelik, while they were running. Somewhere in the distance a chaffinch went into hysterics and the shots were heard throughout.

There were already a lot of people at the headquarters, all the top brass; and Polevoy played his part, of course: ‘And there, sirs, is indeed our operation, from our fantastic efforts I would say,’ the old regime scum bag. Gelik did not move an inch, he was at the apparatus at once and kept ringing.

And here he is lucky, the telephone operator pressed on the buzzer endlessly, and then something got through, visibly, and he picked up the receiver for Baev. The firing abated. There was interference down the line, then suddenly the fresh and sober voice of Baev bellowed:

‘Well?!’

‘Comrade Commander,’ suddenly almost stuttering, Gelik began ‘on the airwaves the on-duty watchman . . .’

‘Oh its you, prick!’ Baev handed Gelik the phone softly and with hatred. ‘I need you. That’s what, my chicken. And well tell your bosses there, that I will all of them, everyone of them, personally, do we understand, yes? Per-sona-lly! I will shake the sperm on the nose. Everyone. Have you written it? That’s all, adieu, you little prick!’ and he hurled the receiver, not at the arm but past it, and right there again is a mad howl: ‘Forward, lads! For the motherland! For saintly patriotism! Don't piss around! Our whole management pisses around; the deserter scum!’ And again shots ring out.

Gelik carefully put down the receiver. They were looking at him from all sides.

‘Ehhhh . . . Well he’s completely drunk,’ he said carefully. ‘And . . . Well yes. That. He has binged. Drunk.’

‘We don’t need your diagnosis,’ the Chief-of-Staff gloomily announced. ‘Tell us what he said.’

‘He says . . .’ Slowly hoping sharply, that the ceiling would collapse or something similar. ‘He curses a lot . . . and this, personally.’

‘Listen. Lieutenant!’ Lavretsky let out a roar.

‘Report accurately,’ said Polevoy. ‘What is at the start, what next . . .’

‘At first . . . at first . . .’ and understanding that he had nothing to lose, that’s how he chatted with all the stupid girls: ‘First he called me a prick!’

The officers neighed like stallions, and right here the second round of laughter struck like an echo under the window: there, the lads, it seems, were listening in.

And they could go to hell with all their Baevs! It was useless to even find out about the rapport, he only strained, waved his hands: what are you, he said, like one possessed, do you see what is happening in the world? We have a Divisional Commander in a white fever, the fighters are excited, up to you now? Well deal with it when there is time. Your Dad won’t die, jeez.’

Such bastards. And the gums hurt even more from illness.

They announced that Baev had shot a pig in the yard, he injured Levchenko and Esenin and at lunch ran to the forest.

‘I didn’t want to worry you,’ wrote Alya even earlier, ‘but our affairs are not good. Dad is severely ill. If only you could come! As you see, I didn’t annoy you at other times, but now the situation is very bad, and I hope that your top brass understands our extreme circumstances. My dear little one, ask, beg, insist. Despite everything I'm quiet, nothing but silence, do you remember? I'm on the move all the time and all the time there is ‘silence’ here and still the island of Madagascar . . . Oh what a terrible time, my little one.’ She wrote theatrically and pompously, she just warned of course, she calculated completely correctly in this, but all the same he winced while re-reading, because where is this from? My dear little one, she had never called him that in her life, it was never the custom.

Sheets of paper lay around on the crumpled bunk, he began to write but discarded it. There were always a lot of drafts. When enough of them were gathered it was possible to collect them in a poetic collage. He composed such a poem, even before the war, and he became quite angry at Erlikh, who gave him a ticking off about non-coordination and sketchiness. Gelik noted the sketchiness from the threshold, it was not generally necessary to have an ear in order to blabber. All right, a variance, let it even be sloppiness, but there was such feeling in it, in these drafts, that there was sketchiness.

And there now again the start.

‘I returned home upset,

I threw my hat and walking stick on the bed.’

And

‘I go along stone marshlands.

It's dark. Nothing is fucking visible.’

Started and discarded. That somehow stretched desperately to prose, uncontrollably, and he feverishly wrote a wonderful passage, the intonation of a fairy novel with high Germanic notes, with Gothic traits and wonder, with a Hoffman-like little silver coffee pot and then a mystical awe should have erupted with thunder; there it was: Pani Angelina, a consumptive blush, a sudden and fantastical disease; a pale chrisolyte sky, the nectar of dog rose, mercury balls, he was hassled, she was a pani or a Frau and suddenly he cooled it all together.

And now again he looked with a heavy glance. There is no strength to compose, the gums are annoying him, all his passion had gone.

He collapsed on his bunk.

Perhaps he never wanted the dear doctor from the infirmary. There were none too few chicks around then, well as in war understanding of course, none too few, seven in the officer compound and the doctor the eighth. But she was, firstly, a lot older, thirty two, a joke perhaps! He knew well then that after thirty nothing more interests them. Secondly, the medic was decisive and capable, her terrifying hands were white, strong, had no fear of scalpel or needles, how could she manage it all? And more importantly she could do everything: pull a tooth, an injection, apply a plaster cast, cut out appendicitis just twice here; and everything so special from her doctor’s spirit, a little carbolic acid and sea salt. He was afraid of doctors, like a little boy. It was understood that the doctor for him was a sexual object.

In the infirmary he ambled along because of the same damned gums. He decided firmly that to cut it would not be the answer, it needed an ointment or a mouthwash; if the doctor herself, known for her sudden temper, begins to get restive, he will complain about her to Polevoy.

He entered the office, an overpowering medical smell, a shameful fear, the inescapable, childish, good Lieutenant. He got up by the wall, behind the half see-through screen Inka fastened her belt, straightened her skirt and pulled on her boots. The doctor sat at the table and detachedly looked at some papers. Inka came out from behind the screen, so clumsily inept, dishevelled in a creased skirt, but in this case, yes, Gelik saw there was in it a certain chilly charm.

‘I'm fed up with you, my girl,’ the doctor said faintly, ‘how fed up I am with you. With such a delay, as you have, indeed you're simply a cunt, that’s what. You don't care about anything, you're considered lazy, I'm lazy to look after you. Eh, that’s what. . . What are you looking at me for? What are you all looking at me for?’ In truth she looked somewhat strange, smiling foolishly. ‘How many times have I told you, it's all to no avail. On the whole, that is it, Inna. This is the last time, and after this do as you like.’

But this one still smiled her idiotic smile and did not leave and it would have been all right for her to dress in front of him, to fasten her skirt, that was at once so clear, what they did with her now and what they were yet to do, neither shame nor a conscience, not to show the gums to her or to gossip with her, that they don’t permit them to be cut. Alka’s recent Madagascar beat in the ears, it latched itself on to her but didn’t keep up.

The doctor got up with difficulty, exited from behind the chair and stood up at the window, holding herself by the waist, and he somehow suddenly shot her a glance and at once understood that she was pregnant and in quite an advanced stage, but not as he had thought before, she was putting on weight. Everything left his head, that is what, the war all around, but there would only be the one thing for them.

‘What did you want?’ she asked in the same dull voice.

Either the wind raised up the curtain, or the frame slammed, or a vulgar detail came out, Gelik had already forgotten, but I can’t get on without her, because - something should have foreseen Baev’s appearance.

With a revolver but not drunk. In this there was also a fear that he was not drunk. There was no smell of fumes, his stride was even, his hand was firm and a firm sober madness in his eyes. Gelik suddenly remembered his own conversation of that morning, of a prick, the happy laughter of the lads, he recalled and screwed up his eyes, having remembered something suddenly and moved to the door, but it was already too late.

First Gelik tied Ina’s hands. Then the doctor tied his hand. Baev didn’t let the doctor go, but continued to keep one hand behind his shoulder. All this was indeed in the utmost silence, there were only four different intakes of breath: Inka’s was private, greedy, the doctor’s seemed as if suppressed, Baev’s sniffling was like his, Gelik’s, personal and normal, every gasp had a tinkling sound in his temples. The terror was outrageously unpleasant, shameful; the good Lieutenant who was taken hostage, and oh, shit, no.

‘Baev, what do you want? A tribunal?’ The doctor asked quietly.

‘Silence,’ Baev just as quietly and dryly called out. ‘Better that you do it yourself . . . but you know that . . .’

And that was the worst, his sobriety. Also. He was more outrageous, disgusted and certain that none of them had made an effort. But it would seem, that he takes the chick by the shoulder, but what was Gelik himself to do with her? To rush forward, to scream, take the door by the shoulder, and let him do what he likes to this chick, even shoot, or kill. No. There was no opportunity of any kind to move.

‘I will tell you, Tamar, what I want. I can tell you. I have to take leave due to a health condition but with limits. With that as with me, by and large it's not allowed to give weapons into the hand, because I say that I shot the leg off one female ass hole, did you hear? Well then. And the guys today eat to be healthy, I recommended to them that they have a little fun to make our Perm citizen cry, do you know our Perm man? Our dear Lieutenant, who tried all of you. ‘Comraaaaade Divisional Commander!’ Here Baev’s face contorted terribly. ‘You confuse!’ Here Baev screamed wildly but then suddenly he stopped howling and began to guffaw. ‘I got confused, did you hear? Nooo, little chicken! I don't fucking get mixed up! I'm for my homeland, I don’t fucking confuse it with Stalin.’ Here he stopped behaving like an idiot and again spoke quietly and carefully: ‘I, Tamara, am for my homeland, for Stalin, whoever I want I can kill now because I'm dying to go into battle and not a single deserting scum stops me. Order or no order, it's all the same to us Tatars, it's single battle preparedness, but if I don't always dwell on this, but here I am suddenly, if you please, a storm warning, but I'm not fucking wanked off and the bullet isn't shelled, put simply I have shat, then what am I? A traitor to the homeland. So I will not wait for an order, I will fight do you know, like Pestel said: only ass holes and cowards want to write an encyclopaedia first and then to go into battle. I will fight not by word but by deed; but if I inadvertently finished someone in this case, then, so first there is no need to distract by pushing and secondly I placed him on the altar of the homeland. And Tamar, while we are on the subject, we have more internal enemies somewhere than foreign ones and if this twit of yours with the brush of command does not give battle; he is the worst bitch udder for me, worse than any Fritz, because he has sold himself to the Fritzes. For Martel. Which, I saw myself, he feasts in the morning with a chii . . . Well stop!’ he shouted frantically.

Gelik moved and froze. The devil! How he only sees, indeed as if enthusiastically carrying on with his nonsense! But it meant only . . . only one movement . . . and right here he noticed, right here! But right here a wave, a shameless terror. Ohh, cu-nt.

‘Bear in mind, you little bitch,’ Baev pronounced with an even voice, swallowing, and in it most terrible of all were these momentary passages from the full likes of madness towards calmness and discretion. ‘Don’t make me nervous. I don’t only shake the brain of this chick. I'm this minute, you don't manage to fart, I’ll shoot you in the spine. And immediately in your little body. Then to you again, by the dotted line along the spine. Caviar, swept with fire by the dotted line, this is very unpleasant, you can believe me, you can ask your sidekick. I did this intricately from this morning, simply intricately. I won’t perform on your spine any worse, but the spine by the dotted line, this, little chicken, is a bad story. Then only pray that you die straight away. So I say to you kindly, well you have understood. Well there, what did we stop at? I say, eat like animals in the mornings Martel with boar. And I, Tamar, so hate this deserting scum bag, that the hatred is boiling inside me,’ here he suddenly winced, he made a laughable little face of a grieving old woman. ‘and periodically flowing out, well there like today. Therefore you see yourself, the person’s heavy situation, poisoned by war.’

The doctor somehow clumsily got going under his arm and he asked with care: what? She, wincing, answered: don’t press on the stomach.

He of course did not remove the pistol, but he shifted his arm, grabbed, ‘so are you comfortable? Yes.’

Inka didn’t howl yet, she only whined from time to time complainingly and nastily and monstrously annoyed, because it was as if she translated on the surface the same sound, which itched in his very insides. And still Mad-agas-car, having pestered from the morning, but now he was already angry at him and, on the contrary, attempted to tune into the waves of Madagascar and not to the hysterical sobbing. But how the frenzied chaffinch of yesterday, ey-ey.

But Alka, Alka! Suddenly he thought with a terrifying despair, a terrible, unbearable one, that it’s impossible to live. How is it possible that I will not see her any more? They, the poor fools, sent a telegram and perhaps they would have let him go to them, but he would have read poetry to them. To Alka and Dad, everything that he managed to write to them, this is it, ‘soon whether the heart adds soundtracks with songs,’ and a prosaic fragment about pani Margarita, so he couldn’t decide, a frau or a pani, it would have had to be a frau, but somehow pani sounded better, and how she swallows the silvery balls of mercury. But now he is sitting on the floor in the white room, on the left is a sink, on the right a screen, and behind it the armchair on which was everything, whether you want an abortion or tooth decay; in the middle of the table, doughnuts were scattered from the bag; and there Baev holds the auntie in a white dressing gown, by the shoulders, the pregnant auntie, who always made him shiver with fear, but now he doesn’t know any more what he’s afraid of, afraid of Mad-agas-car, the island Mad-agas-car, but Baev with his free hand rakes the doughnuts and breaks and hurls a piece into his mouth. And there this doughnut finishes, to fall thus because of some kind of doughnut, and tango! Ooonce! Aaaaand once! Kum-pars-ita! Dou-ghn-ut pam pam pam! Literally he had already gone out of his mind. And he really wanted to sleep.

And when under the window a clatter had been heard and a multi-voiced agitated muttering, Baev smiled greedily, and in one go he fastened all the buttons, with a powerful gulp he swallowed the doughnut and with a fresh voice he shouted from the window:

‘Well, listen to my command!’

They piped down.

‘I have here three hostages!’ (And kill me if you want,’ he was clearly taking pleasure in the situation, no other way could you explain his full and satisfied physiognomy.) ‘I will perhaps release some of them . . . I will also shoot someone for the hell of it perhaps, but this we will have to decide. Therefore,’ and his mug simply oozes with honey, ey-ey-ey, ‘the conditions are these: I will have two standard fighters for hostages, munitions, meals, and I will go to the forest as a partisan. And everything is according to rank.’

Downstairs a disturbing whisper, and a minute and a half later Lavretsky (it seemed to be Lavretsky, but Gelik generally could not distinguish voices), shouted:

‘But are you not afraid of a tribunal? Here is a corpse for you, two injured . . .’

‘There is no corpse for me, you're lying now!’ Baev momentarily answered. ‘But generally I don't like how you talk. I feel that today I will be forced to shoot again . . . but I'm sorry for the lad . . .’ and so he was talking calmly, seemingly posing, but yet when he discharged a volley from his female fool, no one was expecting it, and Gelik, having nearly choked, listened, how his inner chaffinch walked its feet off with a wild shout and broke somewhere on the peak of something . . . on ultrasound. Inka shouted and crashed onto the ground. Blood . . .?

‘Baev. Have you been fucking around?!!!’ They howled underneath the window.

‘Of the two of you, aha? And the ammunition. And all following rank,’ exceeding a howl, clearly and distinctly. Inka stopped, she lost consciousness.

And there had been a pause for three minutes. Then the whisper underneath the window resumed. The accordion played. Some kind of nightmare. Kanavella.

Dad, Dad, when the war started Dad cried for two days, copious tears, without ceasing, he sat at the table, the tears dripped a dark stain on the table cloth, and Kapitosha ruefully said: oy, what is to be done, there isn't a thing to eat; you didn’t even kill yourself so, when you buried Mum. But he, Gelik, having despaired had already left here, wrote rapport after rapport and finally couldn’t contain himself and when he awaited a precious telegram, he lied, in vain that he was about to take himself in hand, and lied again totally monstrously, Godlessly, supposedly, Father is ill and he has the same diagnosis as Mum had, dying in 1941, not managing to say goodbye. But Mum actually died in 1938, and the diagnosis that she had was uncertain, she had never been ill from anything, she felt good, and the unpredictable blood clot, and all that happened suddenly. This is already not talking about Dad being generally healthy, but Gelik already felt so sick, not superstitiously, that he didn’t care about anything and wrote that tearful rapport. To puke once.

Dad would have been in a state of terror. Yes, earlier. But now he himself sent that telegram. Generally, he would certainly have understood him better now, his unlucky boy, his ideal boy, with such a disposition and such great talent! And to write poetry and songs, although, well yes, he is clumsy of course, he can’t master himself and he tries to do too much, not a single engagement either along the way . . . but the talent is good, this you don't take away. And Dad always believed in him. Although he argued sometimes and he didn’t understand Gelik’s attraction to the effective garish word.

You should understand which is more important to you, the meaning of the statement or its sound: there it's for me, my dear, you know that nevertheless the meaning is more important . . . but Severyanin?! But Bely?! And there you know my dear . . . only don’t get angry! But it seems to me, that they have a meaning, a different business and it's not always possible for us to twig. . . but if it's already directly not . . . yes, I believe that it can, and not at all, ‘but then my dear, it's necessary to build this very sound, in order that nobody has any questions. But if there are questions about it, my dear . . .??’

‘Ay, yes Kanavella,’ said the dude on the accordion.

And here the doctor let out a wild scream.

And there he sits, let us say, on a train, he catches amfibrachs in the clatter of the wheels, he who jumps, he who dashes by in a hazy wind, nothing else is thought up, he smacks his lips, because the gums are twitching anyway. . .it's better that he goes to the doctor. But that is all for later, later, later. When he arrives, he comes tearing along straight from the station, when Dad and Alka finally believe with their own eyes, look at him, say ah, how he has grown; Dad of course will cry, the poor thing. Postponing the doctor on the very first day and also on the second; everything later, later. Yes. And now the most important.

It was as if his opinion then had improved. The excerpt about pani Katarina, of course, turned out not to be prose, why would it, he had never written prose. This was freestyle verse, he had already broken it in lines and rhythmed it gently. It was not necessary to finish there at all, the freestyle verse sat very well in this poem, which he had thought about even before the war. This will be a gallery of female forms and this Katarina encompassed different parts of his heroine, and Katya Vorms (probably because of the name) and Ivisti, because of the exterior, because of well-bred parts; the thin bones of the nose, the high cheekbones, the wearisomely beautiful narrow eyes. Of course, he noticed what Dad still says, which was embarrassing and obviously restraining: but my dear, the collection of portraits without a story, without a plot suggests a unique life experience or some improbable present, but are you certain ?. . .

Now the experience enhanced him, and Dad will not deny it. Yes and that story (as she was not crazy) that she told him gave him two female forms, the doctor and Inna. In truth he didn’t understand what to do with Inna, he liked her, everything in her contradicted his idea about what genuine beauty should be. Inka was not, oh, Akhmatova. That is why he was a little ashamed of his passion. And how to describe this chubby-lipped body beauty, he didn’t know. But then the doctor . . .

When she started to shout so terribly and hit his hands and strike herself by the lower part and break him, poor Baev, the trustful one, he decided that she had problems. But a woman with problems can do anything: to take his hand behind, so that he screamed, and from his broken arm he pulled a pistol, to toss it to the side, to tie tassels with the belt of the dressing gown; and he himself went blue from the pain, because with a shove at him is completely natural (she later, putting a plaster cast on the forearm, will shake her head, well excuse me, she didn’t reckon on it). But the doors didn’t creak any more, one fold opened with a roar, the other hung on a loop, they tumbled, shouted. But the doctor with some age-old tiredness sighed: take him away from here! And, having sat on the floor, she strongly unfurled Ina, lying face down, and she had already broken a vial with ammonium chloride and slapped it on the cheeks; well, well, come on, girl, nothing terrible.

They called her Tamara. Baev called her that.

Two months later she later gave birth to a son. Or a daughter. Gelik doesn’t remember now, he talks from general imaginings, a son because people like her usually give birth to sons. But this happened later, and all will be good there.