Copyright

© All rights reserved 2015

Galilee Media

P.O. Box 233, 1110 AE, Amsterdam, The Netherlands

www.galileemedia.com

Author: Melanie Kos-Paula

Coverdesign: Galilee media

Royal Library Catalog Card Number: 020-14249

ISBN-13: 978-90-77607-75-6

NUR 707

Foreword

It is a great honor and privilege to be asked to write the Foreword for this book. Not only do I know Melanie well and appreciate how she lives what she writes, but also I realize God intended this book specifically for me.

Melanie is a master communicator. Her message is personal, simple, doable, and well-organized. As I began reading the pages of this book, I was immediately drawn in by Melanie's story and personal journey. She shares profound truths and gives practical ways to apply those to your life.

Melanie put it best when she wrote, "This book offers you simple yet profound insights and do-able steps. It is meant for believers desperately wanting to get out of their life of struggle. It is meant for those seeking a deeper walk with God. And it is also meant for non-believers trying to find out if God is real."

What jumped out the most for me was Melanie's statement that, "The key to steadily living a life of thriving is to first accept and believe the finished work of Christ. From that point on life is lived by putting God's truth above your circumstances, your feelings and your own knowledge of what you think is best, every day." If you are hungry for a breakthrough, meditate on that for a while.

Melanie also helps her reader to break down the internalized misconceptions that prevent us from realizing our true potential. This book will help you dismantle myths and overcome limiting beliefs. As you learn definite and clear distinctions between the kingdom of this world and the Kingdom of Heaven, you will be empowered to make better choices and experience more joy.

Moreover, Melanie includes “Focus points and tips for success” along with practical reflections at the end of each chapter. These tips enable the reader to become a stronger believer and “doer of the Word,” as Melanie writes. If you have struggled believing in, and trusting in, a loving God, barriers will come down and relief will set in.

There are so many aspects of this book to enjoy such as the ‘one problem-one focus’ formula, dismantling two myths, getting to know the Father’s love, and Practical ‘Time-Tips’.

This book is packed full of pearls. It's easy to read and understand and will revolutionize your life if you apply its lessons. So find a comfortable place, start reading, and enjoy!

Blessings to thrive (not just survive) the Kingdom Way!

Joseph

Joseph Peck, M.D.

The Time Doctor

Author, I Was Busy Now I'm Not

www.empower2000.com

P.S. Let me leave you with this one final thought from How to Thrive: "Begin today to have the Word of God, the Bible, be your Absolute Guide and resolve never to step outside of it!"

Endorsements

“This book is simple to understand and well explained. Even a child can get it! It makes it easy to live the Christian life. It not only teaches you how to live the Christian life yourself, but also how to live with one another. It really brings everything about the Christian faith together. I immediately started putting the meditation exercises into practice. Fantastic!”

Maxine, reader

“Thanks to learning the definite and clear distinctions between the kingdom of this world and the Kingdom of Heaven, I have much less stress in my day. I can now more easily recognize, and subsequently follow the life I was meant to lead according to the Kingdom of Heaven. I also feel better equipped to reject that which is in discord with the Kingdom of Heaven and replace it with what God says is Truth.”

Monique, reader

“I came from a religious and family background where guilt and self-condemnation were the ways to get me to live 'right'. I was often afraid to approach God after I had done something wrong because I learned that God would be mad at me. I had a dramatic shift of mind even after the very first chapters on ‘My Truth’. I now understand that God is not mad at me. He loves me and wants me to come to Him even, and especially, when I fail. My prayer life is changing as I approach God the Father now with more confidence and an understanding that I am fully accepted by Him, no matter what! I am so thankful for this book. It is bringing me out of bondage!”

Cristina, reader

“My personal time with God was lacking. Now, I notice how differently my day goes when I put into practice what I learned in this book and devote the first few moments of the morning listening and receiving strength and direction from God. Since understanding the separation between the kingdom of this world and the Kingdom of Heaven it seems easier for me to step out of negative life patterns and find my way back to the attitudes and lifestyle God intended for me. My life will definitely be less complicated!”

Mattias, Reader

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my present day ‘heroes of the faith’ who have helped deepen my understanding of the “IT IS FINISHED” of Christ, and have given me the tools to daily live out my faith. You have opened my eyes to the truth that looking to the finished work of Christ is the only way to thrive!

To Pastor Joseph Prince, who taught me about God’s unconditional love for me, no matter how often I fail or miss the mark.

To Pastor Dan Mohler, who taught me to never allow sin in others to produce sin in me.

To Pastor Tullian Tchividjian (Hope I got that last name right :-), who taught me to realize how desperately sinful my fIesh is so that now I can truly appreciate God’s amazing grace towards me.

To Pastor Jim Richards, who taught me how to persuade my heart to believe the truths of God’s Word rather than the lies of my circumstances.

To Pastor Gary Keesee, who taught me how to get out from under the curse of toiling and begin living a life of tending in the garden of blessings God has provided for me.

I also dedicate this book to my life coach, Joseph Peck. You have taught me to hear God’s voice and receive direction through lingering in His presence. Thank you for stretching me beyond my comfort zone and providing a safe launching pad from which to further step out into God’s destiny and purpose for my life!

My life is forever changed!

Introduction

How to Thrive,

not Just Survive

the Kingdom Way!

Are you struggling to merely get by in life? Are you living a defeated, unhappy and unfulfilled existence? Are your relationships failing? Are you living in a constant cycle of turmoil and stress, both personally and financially? Are you struggling to find stability and purpose? You don’t need to anymore!

It is actually possible to thrive and not just survive, once you understand that you’ve been created for a life of fulfillment and limitlessness. There's no reason to stand on the sidelines and see others having their greatest desires fulfilled while you stand still and watch life pass you by. There's no reason to hope for the good things of life without ever seeing them come to pass. There’s no reason to live by destructive and limiting beliefs that either you have set for your life or others have set for you. Neither is there reason to spend your life striving for provision and prosperity and miss out on fulfilling your God ordained purpose and destiny.

This book offers you simple yet profound insights and do-able steps. It is meant for believers desperately wanting to get out of their life of struggle. It is meant for those seeking a deeper walk with God. And it is also meant for non-believers trying to find out if God is real. The insights you will receive in this book will allow you to take hold of your life, creating and molding it into what it was made to be. Once understood and applied, you will clearly experience that a life of thriving is actually achievable for you! In this book I lay an unshakeable foundation. I paint a crystal clear picture of the path to a life of thriving that is open to you. There is a Kingdom way that will allow you to be stable and faith filled. You will know your identity and purpose and be well equipped to live life to its full potential!

Many have already gone before you and are experiencing profound growth in their lives by understanding and following what you will now learn. I myself experienced great development many years ago when I unknowingly began applying these principles to my own relationship struggles. The secret behind my past success, and the lessons I will teach you in this book, is the following: The key to steadily living a life of thriving is to first accept and believe the finished work of Christ. From that point on life is lived by  putting God's truth above your circumstances, your feelings and your own knowledge of what you think is best, every day. At the base of this revelation is the understanding that this new way of life will be to your benefit and that of others, EVERY TIME. Why? Because it is based on a lifestyle of faith in the “It is finished” of Christ and subsequently on finding your identity in this finished work.

Since implementing these principles in my own life, I have been enjoying a fulfilling, abundant and uncomplicated existence. I only encounter struggle when I try tackling the issues of life myself, according to my own limited insight and knowledge. How silly to believe that my judgment is more valuable than God’s! I have since been teaching people how to achieve this life and remain stable in their beliefs. Many are now seeing appreciable results as they learn to: 1. Focus on Christ; 2. Approach their life issues one at a time; and 3. Decide to first believe and then step out in the direction shown in God’s Word. During this process they also learn to: 4. Remain focused on the Kingdom truth about who they are, what they have, and what they can do; and 5. Meditatively visualize their desired result before it actually occurs. Lives are forever transformed!

Now I know you might be saying: But I don't know anything about God’s Word. I don't even go to church! How can I apply these principles to my life? If you don't know anything about God’s Word, better for you! Why do I say that? Because you will have fewer misinterpretations of Bible truth to unlearn. It is sad to say this, but many who come from a church background have heard a lot of self-defeating and unbiblical teachings. Because of this they have a hard time accepting the beauty and simplicity of God’s Word. So please, if you don’t know God’s Word yet, get to know Bible truths as presented in this book! I guarantee that you will see God in a way that you never have before.

Conversely, maybe you are saying: I’ve been to church before and I’ve read the Bible, but I don’t believe in church or the Bible, because: “Look at all the horrible things those so-called Christian believers are doing to themselves and others. Why should I want what they say they believe? My answer to you is: “You just nailed it! You don’t need to live by what people SAY they believe!” Get acquainted with the One who said it and then decide to get closer to Him, follow Him, and BELIEVE what He says, if you so desire. You may come to the sad realization that many who call themselves Christians are not at all living according to the directions of God’s Word. Therefore, I want to gently encourage you who do not believe in church or the Bible as follows: Give yourself a fair chance to understand what the Word of God is really about and what it can mean for you. After that, if you want to follow, then follow. Deal? Let’s step into this together!

For those of you more adamant in your dislike of God, this book was also written with you in mind. Maybe you are saying to yourself: “I hate God!” or: “In my world, God doesn’t exist. I have not taken the time or made the effort to read the Bible or attend any church. Because, how can there be a God when there’s so much junk and pain going on in the world? What kind of God just watches this all happen and does absolutely nothing to stop the pain, the suffering and violence? Don’t you Christians say that He claims to have the power to do anything?” To you I say: “please bear with me”. Let’s go through this book together. It could possibly make a difference for you when you understand God’s true intention for the world and for all mankind. I extend to you the invitation to walk through the pages of this book with me. In the end, if your view is still the same, set aside everything you’ve read and continue on your journey. I then thank you and commend you for having given me and my message the value of your time. But if you have a change of mind about who God is and what His plans and intentions are for mankind, then please promise to drop me a line and let me know about it, okay?

The truth is that many of us believers have not done a very good job of showing life as God intended it. As a result, non-believers and non-churchgoers have seldom seen the Kingdom of Heaven truly reflected. Yet, no matter what your challenges in life, you can share the experience of many by beginning to see your life transform, after reading even only the first few pages of this book.

You too will quickly discover that the key to thriving in life is to:1. Discover that your true identity has been restored back to you by Jesus’ finished work through the shedding of His blood; 2. Boldly accept your restored Godly identity; 3. Re-program the destructive and limiting beliefs of your heart conforming them to your new identity; 4. Live from your new Godly identity; and 5. Be all that God says you are, have all that God says is yours, and do all that God says you can! The secret to your success in life is centered around your willingness to live by what God says is true about you. From this point on you no longer focus on man’s opinions or on negative circumstances. You also do not focus anymore on the lies you have believed about yourself, your qualities and your purpose.

This book consists of six parts. In each one, I seek to persuade you to see Christ. I then gently lead you to use His lenses (so to speak) to see who you are, what you have and what you can do according to the Kingdom of Heaven. I also offer strategies to help you shake off your earthly limitations and step into the glory of what Christ accomplished for you at the cross. Here’s an overview of what you will learn in this book and how people’s lives are already being changed by it.

Part 1: ‘My Beginning’, describes my personal path in the area of learning to thrive rather than just survive in life. It tells of how my life began to radically improve once I began walking out my God-given identity. Those who made the first part of this journey with me were inspired by my personal story, and you can read more about my struggles and victories in my book titled: My Husband, My Lord, My All.

Part 2: ‘My Truth’, deals with the importance of having a correct understanding of Bible truths. It gives a clear account of why the person Jesus Christ is so essential in the life of the believer, and what this means for their own sense of self. People have been profoundly impacted as they found out about their new identity through the finished work of Christ. As a result, they have renewed their mind to the Kingdom of Heaven and immediately began experiencing Kingdom blessings, firsthand.

Part 3: ‘My Faith’, teaches the true meaning of believing in God’s Word and His promises. I talk about how biblical meditation helps replace destructive heart beliefs back to the truths of the Kingdom of Heaven. Those who have learned to activate their faith in this way are now experiencing Bible faith as the key to bringing Kingdom reality into their life.

Part 4: ‘My Identity’, gets into who God has called us to be and how to use forgiveness to free ourselves from destructive and limiting beliefs. Many have flourished once they stopped defining their lives by negative circumstances and the opinions of man. Instead, they allowed God to completely define their identity.

Part 5: ‘My Purpose’, teaches you how acquiring provision the Kingdom Way sets you free to pursue your God-given purpose in life. Once you have adopted these principles into your life, you too will join the many others who no longer have to struggle for provision according to worldly standards.

And finally, Part 6: ‘My Lifestyle’, teaches you to take responsibility for your own success in life. Here you learn to eliminate time-wasters and create your own personal vision board to see the life you want, right in front of you! Developing a Kingdom lifestyle by maintaining high personal standards has led to ongoing peace and victory for many.

I promise you that the people who have experienced victory by applying what this book has to offer, are the rule, and not the exceptions. This could be your experience, too! So please read on to learn how the finished work of Christ allows you to embrace your true identity, empowering you to thrive and not just survive, the Kingdom Way!

Some final notes from the author

About the Bible verses used in this book

The cited Bible verses are taken from both the King James Version (KJV) and the New International Version (NIV). These sources were chosen based on their relevance to the text.

The ‘one problem-one focus’ formula  

Before plunging into the content, I would like to suggest the most effective way of working through the pages of this book. I realize that you may be struggling in several areas of your life. Still, right now, I invite you to please choose one specific life situation that you would like to change. Write it down. As you read, take time to refer to the ‘focus points and tips for success’ and ‘practical reflection and consideration’ sections at the end of each chapter. Then evaluate your result at the end of the book. Will you do that? Alright, then let’s get started!  

PART 1: THE BEGINNING

The Struggles That Led to a New Way of Life

CHAPTER 1

How It All Began

Many years ago I went through a rough period in my life. I found myself having to deal with betrayal and divorce. I was forced to come to terms with the fact that life could suddenly and unexpectedly change. Once it did, I had no choice but to come to terms with who I really am and for what I stand. At that time, everything in my life came crashing down. I was taken completely off guard and had many questions and doubts in my mind. How could this have happened? Where did things go wrong? How could I make it better again?  

I soon learned what was at the basis of my personal failures and mistakes in my marriage. Throughout my elementary school years I struggled with a low sense of self-worth and an inability to express my true feelings. This often resulted in fits of anger and periods of heavy migraine attacks and depression. It also ultimately led to my divorce.

For a long time I struggled to ‘let go of a dead thing’. My relationship was over, yet I strained for many months to try and pick up from where I left off. In doing so I always met with rejection and further alienation from the one with whom I once so closely shared my life. As I stubbornly continued trying to glue the broken pieces together, my heart felt like it was on an emotional roller coaster. As I embarked on the tumultuous journey, I felt split in two. On the one hand I wanted to make amends. Yet, at the same time I wanted to call it quits, pick up the broken pieces and try to get my life back together again. Because of all the hardships I was facing, a friend invited me to move to Holland for a temporary break from my circumstances. This is how I left my birth island Curaçao to start a new life in Holland, far away from home.

The first part of my time in Holland was complicated and felt desolate. Once I had decided to remain in Holland for a longer period, I was in dire financial need. I didn’t even have money to pay for bus fare to go to my job interviews or to make a phone call to my parents whom I had left behind in Curaçao. This became a time of buckling up and making a decision as to which way I wanted to go with my life and how to make it happen.

Yet as if that was not enough, I also had to come to terms with my abortion that I had committed years earlier. I went through a period of harsh attacks of guilt and self-condemnation for past mistakes in my life. Desperation and the lies of the enemy overtook me and convinced me that I did not deserve anything good from God anymore.

Nevertheless, early on in the struggle I sensed that something good would come out of it all. Though on the one hand my heart was bleeding, there was also a calmness that convinced me that all was well. My inner compass helped me stay on course, continuously looking out for the good that was in store for me. So, despite the reality of pain and confusion, my spirit proved more than able to cope.

I determined to keep a positive attitude and include God in the process of revealing to me my mistakes and shortcomings. I developed a lifestyle of continual prayer and close communion with Holy Spirit and made good use of my time alone. I worshipped and got to know God better each day. I had no greater desire than to live for God and obey Him in all that He asked of me. My intimate relationship with Papa (Father God), Jesus and Holy Spirit made me see many of my prayers answered quickly and in extraordinary ways. I soon discovered that confessing the Word (saying what God says) was a powerful weapon against any feelings of defeat and desperation I faced. I accepted God’s unconditional love for me and allowed His Word to speak louder than my circumstances and feelings. Every time I did this I was lifted out of my situation of despair and defeat, without fail.

I did not realize at the time what I was doing, but later came to understand that I was ‘choosing the Kingdom Way above the way of this world’. I began believing and using God’s Word as a tool to break through my circumstances and feelings. This became my first step in seeing my life transform and transcend above and beyond what I could have ever imagined. I began to see that I had found the key to breakthrough in every area of my life. Sometimes when my flesh wanted to retaliate and choose ‘the way that seems right to man’, there was a struggle. But I learned more and more to choose the Kingdom Way over my own and saw the benefits of The Kingdom of Heaven manifest in my life!

In the years that followed up until today, I have continued building on the foundation of The Kingdom of Heaven. I have since understood the true value of living according to my God-given identity based on the finished work of Christ. I have learned to boldly step into the life of blessings that He so lovingly provided. The teachings in this book are based on many years of my personal experience, many years of hours spent studying God’s Word, and many years of learning from great men of God. To this day, their teachings and sermons continue to help me further develop who I am in God. My personal life and my outlook on life have dramatically changed since I began learning and applying the principles I will teach you in this book.

So right now I encourage you to throw every limitation out the window. Every voice that may be telling you that this has worked for others but that it will not work for you. Throw out every lie that says that the effects of your past cannot be healed or that your Bible knowledge is not enough to make it through life and thrive as you go. I am offering you a new way to live! Read on to learn how starting today you can thrive and not just survive in your personal life - the Kingdom Way!   

PART 2: MY TRUTH

Establishing a Firm Foundation in Kingdom Principles

CHAPTER 2

The Importance of Right Believing

Purpose: In this chapter you will lear why it is important to have a correct understanding of Bible truths and biblical terms.

I want to first begin by asking a few simple yet defining questions. Let’s get started right away: First of all, are you reading the Word of God, the Bible, but not knowing how to apply the truths written in it? Have you stopped reading the Bible altogether because you don't understand and can’t make sense of what it says? Are you wondering what to make of God as you read the Word? Are you asking yourself things like: “Is He a good God or a bad God? Is this passage of scripture applicable to me or is it not? Do I need to follow Old Testament or New Testament Laws?”

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, have you decided to just try to make the best of life on your own? Have you decided to struggle along and just see where things will end up for you? Then I promise you, this chapter and the next will give you the answers and the tools to get a clear understanding of how to relate to Bible Truth in a practical and personal way. You will learn to make the Word of God applicable in your daily life.

Dismantling two myths:

Before going on I want to dismantle two myths. Why? Because they have made children of God get into trouble with their faith. They have hindered many who genuinely want to live the Christian life in their ability to trust God.

The first myth that needs to be torn down is this one: “God sends trials to test me”. The Bible clearly states that God tests no man and that He is even unable to do so, because all that comes from Him is only good, and He does not waiver in this. When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows (Jas. 1:13-17).

As long as we still believe that God sends evil upon us to teach us some deep life lesson, we will never be able to fully trust Him. How can we? If the One who is supposed to help us is also the one sending the trouble, how will we judge His dependability when we are going through hard times? So please decide right now to throw this lie out the window!

The second myth, while seeming contradictory to the first, is also based on false pretenses that must be abandoned in order to build a trusting relationship with God. Myth number 2: “Having faith in God, through Jesus Christ is supposed to give me a 'good life' on earth”. We must reject this myth because of the superficiality that it implies. Jesus was not sent to suffer and die to give us a ‘good life’. His purpose was to restore us back to the original position of Sonship, the identity and purpose we had with God before sin entered into the world. He came to restore us back to who we were created to be. What He promised us was not a ‘good life’, but rather an abundant LIFE. This abundant life exchanges all that the devil has brought through sin with blessings for us who believe. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly (John 10:10). This means that even in the midst of trials, tribulations, and hardships on the journey of life, we radiate His love, peace, dominion, joy, compassion, and abundant provision.

Even through hardships we are able to manifest His Godly character and remain stable and Christ-like. Jesus’ coming was never about us running after the ‘good things’ of life. What we run after and pursue is getting to know Him, the Giver of this abundant life. From that close relationship we re-discover ourselves and find out who we are really meant to be. That’s what this life is all about! The quality of that life grows as we get to know Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit more intimately each day! The ‘good things’ then automatically follow.

How to relate to Bible truth

Without getting into too much detail, here are some practical points to consider as you read the Word of God:

1. When you read the Old Testament realize that we struggle today with the same issues as the Israelites did in those days. We are all sinful by nature because of the fall of man. We, on our own, are incapable of adhering to God’s holy standard for life. For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Rom. 3:23). For the Israelites this meant that a priest had to regularly make sacrifices to atone for their sins. In spite of this they never became righteous (as they should be) in God’s eyes. In the New Testament there is a difference. Christ has offered Himself as the ultimate sacrifice for all of our sins. By going to the cross and shedding His blood, we have been redeemed in the eyes of God. All men are now righteous through their faith. As the Bible says: Even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all those who believe; for there is no distinction (Rom. 3:22).

Our position of righteousness allows us, as children of God to now partake of every blessing and promise God made in His Word. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust (2 Pet. 1:4).  

If you are a believer, all the promises God ever made in both the Old Testament and the New Testament are for you and to you. Every promise once spoken by God stands for all times, for all people. The Bible teaches that: For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God (2 Cor. 1:20).