Sacred Pledge

The 7 paths to empowerment

A Workbook

Catharina J. Beijer

For my daughter Zanna Lyn and my granddaughter Luna Sophia

“We plan our lives according to a dream that came to us in our childhood, and we find that life alters our plans. And yet, at the end, from a rare height, we also see that our dream was our fate. It is just that providence had other ideas as to how we would get there. Destiny plans a different route, or turns the dream around, as if it were a riddle, and fulfils the dream in ways we could not have expected.”

Ben Okri, Astonishing the Gods

Foreword

Our journey through life is shaped by the place we are born, the family that raised us and all kinds of experiences we have. It is through others and through experiences that we grow and learn about the world around us. Sometimes the paths we take on our life journey are easy, full of opportunity and adventure, but they can also be difficult at times, harsh, painful or unpredictable. More than ever, people can feel lost and uncertain in a world that obscures the future: climate change, the growing gap between rich and poor, the increased number of displaced people and inequality of opportunity.

In my work as a psychologist and trainer, I have met extraordinary and talented people, unsure of their potential and how to unleash it. This workbook is for them. Although this book is written from my female perspective, it can be a useful tool for all people at a crossroads in their lives or looking for more meaning in their existence. And it can be a handy guide for trainers and coaches.

This workbook invites you to live the life you are meant to live: unfolding your potential by using the talents you were born with. It is intended as a roadmap to help you navigate the process of finding your unique path. A path that leads to a more positive impact on your own life and the lives of others. It’s not about quick and superficial results. This workbook will help you to better understand yourself and your role in this world.

If you follow the paths described in this book, you will find yourself challenged to walk your path. Unfolding your potential means aligning yourself with who you are and remaining aware of the impact of your actions on future generations so that your children and their children will be able to make their way on our beautiful and liveable Earth.

To empower yourself you can tap into different resources available to you, from the physical body to the more subtle energy of intuitive inner wisdom. When they function together as one, it is easier to live to your full potential.

We need our bodies so we can act and move. The breath monitors energy and regulates emotions. The mind is the seat of thoughts, ideas and dreams. The heart is the source of passion and compassion, making it the gateway to a different kind of wisdom from that of the mind: our intuitive wisdom. Intuitive wisdom is a source of knowing that comes from quieting the mind. It is not ego-bound but sees the bigger picture and is connected to all that is. And it’s the source for finding meaning. In spiritual traditions, this wisdom comes from the soul and shows us the essence of who we are.

This workbook is based on my experiences as a psychologist, trainer and yoga practitioner. I studied psychology and medical anthropology. Within these disciplines, I have studied empowerment and resilience. When practising yoga, I look for ways to feel more wholeness. The insights from psychology, anthropology, yoga and my practical experience come together in this book.

In the Netherlands, where I grew up, I was taught that thinking with your head or intellectual knowledge is superior to intuition and physical knowledge. I was not taught to listen to my body or follow my heart. Perhaps that is why early in life I felt something was wrong and wanted to learn from non-Western people and ways of thinking. As a young girl, I started reading books about other cultures but had no idea where it would take me in life. Now, years later, I look back and feel blessed to have met so many people from all over the world. I met them in my classes, in refugee camps, online, in my private practice, and at unexpected moments while travelling. I was inspired by stories and teachings about the deep human longing for inner peace and living in harmony with people and nature.

You will find some of these teachings and stories in this workbook. Stories of dreamers, thinkers and doers. From the African continent, I have been inspired by the work of Tererai Trent, Ben Okri and Desmond Tutu. I learnt so many practical insights from my African son Alias Camara and his family in Guinea, and my friend Saron Tesfahuney, who I have worked with a lot. From them, I learnt about Ubuntu: how we relate to everything that exists. And about how to celebrate life by dancing. Asian life lessons I got from my teachers Cor van Motman and Ferry Brandenburg, and encounters at work and during trips to Southeast Asia.

From both my Saswitha yoga school and my yoga teacher Wayang and Hindu priestess Ibu Ati in Bali, I learnt about the power of the mind and disciplining the body and mind daily with yoga and meditation. From my soul sister Celestine, who is part of Michael Sierra’s Tiospaye (an Oglala Lakota community on Pine Ridge Reservation in South Dakota), I learnt about the ‘invisible’ world when I was on Red Cloud’s sacred ground. From the Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers, I learnt the importance of rituals and thinking in terms of the future seven generations.

It was my childhood dream to learn from people and philosophies from all over the world. That is what I have lived for the past years. By writing this workbook, I am coming full circle. This workbook is my gift back to the world. It was not me who wrote this book, it was as if the wind blew through me and whispered what I should write. It was created by all the people I learnt from and who inspired me.

This workbook will ask you about your origins, your dreams and the obstacles standing in the way of your dreams. It helps you explore how your life can unfold in a way that suits you and is of service to generations to come.

I wish you an empowering journey!

Catharina (Carin) Beijer

Getting started

To get the most out of this workbook, it is good to set aside time for writing and reflection. Find a quiet place for this and if you can, choose a fixed time too. Morning and early evening are often good times for reflection. I make time in the mornings after I have done yoga. Then there is more space in my head for insights and ideas to emerge. But maybe for you, that’s after meditation, prayer or a morning walk.

This workbook contains all kinds of exercises and questions, work on the things that appeal to you. Make notes in a special notebook. In the text, I call it a journal. Writing by hand is preferable to using a laptop or phone because writing allows you to slow down and connect the mind more deeply to the needs of the heart. However you do it, it all starts with your intention to get started.

Be responsible for your process

In this workbook, we use a variety of exercises, guided meditations and yoga postures. The exercises have helped many others and are an invitation to get to know yourself better and find your path. Everyone has their path to walk. Empowerment starts with taking responsibility for your process.

Empowerment

The word empowerment is often used too easily. That is why I want to pay close attention to it. Empowerment is about gaining or regaining control over your life. Empowerment strengthens a positive self-image. It strengthens your connection with yourself and the world around you. At its core is finding your inner strength of who you essentially are, not the expectations and conventions of others. Through this workbook, you will learn how to reconnect with your heart, your essence. Your mind follows your heart. Not the other way around. Your heart guides you and points the way like a compass.

Empowerment is a process

Empowerment is a process that varies from person to person. This process is not linear; it is like peeling an onion, with deeper and even deeper layers coming to the surface. With each layer you peel off, you get closer to your natural state of being. Peeling the layers follows several trajectories. From looking back at what has shaped you, to looking at what the future could be, to shaping the now. From unconscious patterns that shaped you, to becoming aware of them and transformation to a new perspective. From dependence to independence to interdependence. From receiving to evolving to passing on.

When I start empowerment training, I often draw three circles on a flipchart indicating the process of life and what empowerment means.

The first circle is perfectly round and represents our natural state, our true essence. This is what we are like when we are born.

The second circle represents growing up, the circle is no longer a circle but has acquired protrusions and scars. These scars and protrusions represent wounds and defence mechanisms that have arisen to protect ourselves or to avoid feeling pain. They may have arisen after struggles of all kinds, such as being bullied or abused. They represent coping mechanisms, such as making yourself smaller, or tougher. This second circle represents our strategic state of being.

The third circle represents the state of empowerment after you have gained or regained control of your life. This circle is not perfectly round like the first but has its unique character, shaped by life experiences. This state is much closer to the natural state you were born with.

It is very difficult for every human being to reach the natural state, but we can try to heal wounds by taking control of situations we can influence and accepting what we cannot change. This is how we make old wounds affect us less.

Empowerment the ubuntu way

As human beings, we are interconnected with everything that surrounds us. Desmond Tutu says that this interrelational way of ‘being’ is the essence of our humanity. The interrelation philosophy underpins the Ubuntu philosophy. Many sub-Saharan African communities live and embody this way of being. The word Ubuntu literally means “You are what you are because of other people”. You are because we are and somehow all our lives are connected. The first part of the word “Ubu” refers to envelopment, to feel safe and protected. “Ntu” refers to development. To feel human, it is necessary to feel protected and to develop yourself. You always do this in a particular context where the impact on others and the next generation matters. Both ancestors and future generations are involved in acting in the now. Understanding the meaning and implications of all our interrelationships is very profound in how we act. Buddhists have a similar understanding. As human beings, we are interbeings and not separate human beings. This way of looking at things, which I embrace in this workbook, has an impact on how I look at the process of empowerment.

Gratitude

We are here on planet Earth to learn, live, love and share our talents given to us with the world. Be grateful for your given talents. They also bring with them the responsibility to do something with them. If you are clever, then please share your thoughts or inventions with the world. If you are an artist, hold up a mirror to others with your artwork or reveal beauty.

Empowerment is about bringing your talents to life and not running away from them. Don’t make yourself too small. It is important to find out what part you play, and seek out your contribution to the bigger picture. It can be small or big. You can be at the forefront, or work behind the scenes. Everyone is needed and everyone is unique. There is a place for everyone. And last but not least: life is serious, take it seriously but not too seriously either. Never forget to love, smile and celebrate life. Our life is given to us, so live it to your full potential!

Summary: Empowerment is a process by which we reconnect with our hearts. We can only achieve this by connecting with others, in the Ubuntu way. By recognising that we are nothing without the other. And finally, we have all been given talents that we should be grateful for and share with the world. Not by making yourself small, but by being proud and generous in sharing them with the world.

Methodology

This workbook uses an inside-out approach. It begins with an inner journey that leads you to the work that is yours to do in this life. The process often begins with an indistinct feeling: a sense of emptiness or restlessness within yourself. This can ask you to rediscover yourself, to dream again and also to take these dreams seriously and open your heart. This is often invisible to the outside world, but this is where empowerment begins. The visible part of the process is when you step out into the world with what you have to give. During the process, you will walk along different paths.

The path of family asks you to look at your origins and how you are grounded.

The path of discovery asks you to explore what makes you unique.

The path of dreams explores the dreams dormant within you.

The path of the snake asks you to transform.

The path of the heart teaches you about the power of compassion and how it can open up a new purpose of existence.

The path of the warrior asks you to act from wisdom, discipline and trust.

Finally, the last path brings you back to a path where you converge with who you are.

The methods I use are:

Narratives

Creative exercises

Practical exercises

Yoga and meditative exercises

Insights from psychology, Buddhism, Hinduism and Ubuntu philosophy

Journaling

Narratives: I use two types of narratives, both personal stories and other meaningful stories that I have heard and carry with me. Stories lodge deeper in the heart and are often better remembered. Personal stories make you feel that you are not alone. Many have already walked the paths or are walking with you.

Creative exercises are there to help you express what you have not (yet) been able to put into words and open doors to a more unconscious, intuitive layer within you.

Practical exercises teach you hands-on skills for empowerment in everyday life. Empowerment is about doing!

Yoga and meditative exercises are used for a variety of reasons. They can help to feel more stability in both body and mind or to get moving. Some exercises are designed to awaken the mind, while others are to bring you to stillness. The exercises can respond to one of three qualities: Tamas, Rajas or Sattva. Tamas is about your foundation, the quality of solidity. Rajas is about movement. Sattva is about converging and experiencing contentment.

Insights from psychology Buddhism, Hinduism and African Ubuntu philosophy. It is enriching to be aware of different approaches that can help find answers to life’s questions.

Journaling to reflect on the questions asked and anything that comes up while reading this workbook.

Yoga philosophy and accessing the knowledge contained in your body

In this workbook, we use different ways of learning. Yoga philosophy and learning the wisdom of the body are part of this. Certain yoga postures or poses give access to knowledge that you cannot reach from the mind. I will regularly ask you to slow down before doing an exercise, that is the reason why at this point in the workbook I want to talk a little more about the breath, a supportive sitting posture and energy centres in your body.

The breath

It all starts with the breath: the connector between body and mind. Breath is life, it brings oxygen to every cell in your body and helps you feel healthier or more peaceful. When you are not under pressure, your breath is calm, but as soon as your stress level goes up, you start breathing more shallowly and faster. As a result, toxins are not drained properly, and you can get tired or ill. Breathing well can improve your quality of life. Before starting a meditation, I often ask you to focus on your breath. This helps you calm down.

The first yoga practice is a pranayama or breathing exercise that quiets the mind. When your thoughts calm down, you can feel how you are more clear, and be open to what is coming.

Exercise: following the flow of breath

To feel the breath, I ask you to do an exercise in which you lay down but first, take off your shoes and restrictive clothing, especially around your belly and chest. Lie on your back with your legs stretched out. Use gravity to allow your feet to fall outwards like the pages of a book. Your toes no longer point upwards but slightly outwards. Put your arms alongside your body with your palms upwards. Close your eyes and breathe in and out through your nose, you don’t have to do anything special with your breath except follow it. Then try to make the exhalation twice as long as the inhalation. You can count. Two counts in, four counts out. Breathe this way for about two minutes until you feel calmer. Now put a hand on your belly and a hand on your chest. As you inhale, feel the hand on the belly rising. If you can’t feel this properly, put both hands on your belly. Place your little fingers in your groin and the other fingers below your navel. The hands should not touch. Breathe into your hands.

Exercise: relaxing breath

When you are ready, you can lie down and do the following pranayama or breathing exercises. In this exercise, as you inhale, bring your hands above your head and bring your attention to the chest area. Feel how your chest expands by filling the lungs with oxygen. Then slowly exhale again, lower your arms along both sides of your body and relax. Repeat this movement on the breath as often as you like. Always make the exhale longer than the inhale.

If you can feel the path of the breath, you will also be able to do this when sitting upright. To do this, however, good sitting posture is important. The instructions for this are below.

Exercise: sitting posture

A good sitting posture for the exercises in this workbook allows optimal access to the flow of your breath. For this, it is important that you sit upright. Establishing a good sitting posture on a chair starts with the feet. The feet should be apart and flat on the floor. Knees above the ankles. Upper legs and buttocks are well anchored in the chair. Build your posture from your tailbone. Create length in the spine right up to your shoulders. Pay attention to the shoulder area where stress often accumulates. Draw the shoulders down and the shoulder blades slightly together. Relax the upper arms, forearms and hands. Place the hands loosely on your thighs, this can be done with palms down or up. Bring the breath from the abdomen into the chest area, expanding slightly towards your sides. Then bring your attention to the cervical vertebrae. Point them up towards your crown while keeping your shoulders low, drawing the chin in slightly. Relax the eye area and relax the jaw, tongue and mouth. When you lengthen your spine, the breath will flow more easily.

I like to sit as close to the ground as possible. A lotus or half lotus does not work for me, so instead, I sit cross-legged on a cushion with a soft mat for my knees. My knees, lower legs and feet make contact with the mat. From there, I build my posture from the sit bones to the crown as described above

The functioning of the energy centres in your body

Yoga poses and body-focused exercises are a gateway to finding answers to questions on your path. In addition to my knowledge of Western psychology, I have benefited greatly from the knowledge of Eastern psychology, especially the teachings on energy centres in your body.

In your body, in the spine, there are seven main energy centres. They are in the base of the spine around your tailbone to your crown. The energy centres correspond not only to certain organs and parts of your body but also to how you feel. In Sanskrit, they are called chakras. All these energy centres harbour lessons for empowerment. They can serve as an inner compass for connection with yourself, others and the world around you. When the chakras are open and balanced, your energy can flow smoothly through your body. But if they are blocked by fear or sadness, the energy can’t flow, and blockages occur.

Everyone has blockages, especially in the lower three energy centres: the root chakra, the sacral chakra and the solar plexus chakra. Therefore, the yoga poses I describe in this workbook will address this specific area. These poses are lenses through which you get to know and understand yourself better. Our body and the mind are connected by the breath. Yoga poses give sensations in parts of the body that in turn loop through the nervous system and give rise or change in the breath. The change in breath, in turn, produces a change in your state of mind.

The root chakra is the first chakra and is your foundation. It is about literally feeling rooted. The centre is connected to the earth and is related to primary needs, such as feeling safe and accepting yourself.

The sacral chakra is your second chakra and is connected to our sexuality and our emotions like joy and pleasure. Its element is water. Each time you feel passionate and motivated this energy centre is at work. Water flows and is in motion. But this chakra can stagnate because of past emotions.

The third chakra, the solar plexus chakra, is related to our willpower, self-confidence and choosing self-leadership above victimhood. This chakra is about the ego which we need to get things done and bring our ideas into reality. We need this chakra to feel our uniqueness and to stand for something.

The heart chakra is the fourth chakra in the middle of the other chakras. This chakra wants to reach out to others, it wants to heal and make whole and is about universal love and compassion.

The throat chakra is the fifth chakra and is about self-expression and speaking your truth. It is also the centre of creativity.

The third eye chakra is also known as the inner eye. This sixth chakra is the gateway to our intuitive wisdom and insight.