Life is Great

&

most of the time it sucks
The psychology of improving yourself

by

Emile Ratelband

Emile Ratelband … Who is he ??

Proud father of Minou, Rolls, Charles, Georgine, Beau-aimee, Royce and Emilio.

“My children have always been my motivation to grow, I want to be an example for them so that they will improve themselves the best they can every single day!”

Born on March 11, 1949 in Arnhem (the Netherlands) his true education began when, at the age of six, he became aware of the fact that he was not like his friends. He was different. As young boy, about a yard high, he weighed 264 pounds and was covered with eczema. His father was an alcoholic and his mother was half Chinese. A higher education was unrealizable for him and, at the age of thirteen, he took over his father’s bakery. He baked bread and pastries until he was diagnosed with heart disease at 21. This prompted him to change his attitude drastically and inspired him to transform his shop into a small factory and turn it into the biggest bakery in town.

He sold his empire at age of 28 and became a millionaire and father at the same time. His next step was to bake poffertjes (a Dutch treat somewhat like small pancakes the size of the bottom of a cup). He gained ground on German soil with this delicacy and decided to try his luck at the World Fair, EXPO 86 in Vancouver in 1986. There, however, he went broke, after which he moved on to LA where he, “by coincidence” met Anthony Robbins. He convinced Anthony to train him personally for more than 2 years. Energized and ambitious to motivate, he went back to Europe and introduced Neuro-Linguistic Programming to those who would listen. He went on to develop Entert®ainment, Body Logics, Tsjakkaa therapy, and the 30 day-complete change method. From that time on he spread the word as a inspirational speaker in Holland, Germany, France, the U.K., Saudi Arabia, Dubai, Iran, China, Russia and Thailand. He speaks English, French, and German fluently and is assisted by native translators when these languages do not suffice.

He has trained not only at the Top100 companies worldwide but at a larger range of companies totaling more than 2768. He spoke with the Duma in 1999 and has worked for the governments of the Netherlands, Germany, Dubai, Iran and Thailand. More than 785,000 individuals have been trained by him in open seminars dealing with the psychology of improving yourself the best you can and the best way you can. He trained numerous international sportsmen and athletes and has inspired soccer and hockey teams to achieve unprecedented heights in the tournaments they competed in.

He has written thirteen books and sold more than two million copies of his works including Walking on fire, Tsjakkaa, Reality is just an illusion, etc. In addition he is the founder of both the Ratelband Research Institute as well as the Foundation ‘Stop Ebola’.

If you are interested in a lecture presented by Emile Ratelband please contact us via email at: info@ratelband.com or by phone: 0031.26.3340204.

A word of gratitude

I want to thank God who has given me the talent

of transforming a difficult matter

into an understandable lesson.

I want to thank my father and my mother,

who I chose myself in a previous life,

for understanding who I was.

I want to thank my ex-wives

for the lessons they taught me

before, during, and after our divorces.

I want to thank the mothers of my children

who blessed me with such sweet beings.

I want to thank my children

who teach me more every moment of the day.

I want to thank life for giving me

so much pain and shit.

I want to thank Carmen Jansen who came into my life to write down, in her native language, the words I conveyed to her in my Dutch-English. This so that you could embark upon and enjoy the most beautiful trip and lesson in your life. So be thankful to her too.

Chapter 1

The Saga

So much wisdom is to be deduced

from history and what follows is no exception.

About two hunderd and twenty-eight years ago, a woman living in the South of Africa discovered that she was pregnant. In spite of what you would expect this did not make her feel happy. She was a helpless young woman who had no husband, and, she did not have a house or work either. All her relatives had passed away and she had no family or friends who could help her out. She had no one to turn to at this very crucial moment in her life and a feeling of desperation took hold of her. In her eyes there was no way out; here she was, pregnant, but with no possibilities for being able to care for the child she carried in her womb. This was not the way it was meant to be.

Being at her wit’s end she decided to go to the medicine man in the village to ask for his help. This man could help her solve her problems with his magical powers. She was convinced that he could not only cure illness but that he could keep evil spirits away as well. The shaman possessed the wisdom that she needed. Notwithstanding, she had a solution of her own in mind: She would ask him to perform an abortion so that her baby would not have to endure the hardships that were inevitable. The circumstances which the woman found herself in could lead to nothing short of suffering and she did not want to put her child through this.

1-1To her great dismay, the medicine man refused to do as she wished. He told her that he could not, and would not, be a part of an abortion of the child she was bearing. Furthermore he made it clear that there was a very compelling reason for not complying with her desire: The child she carried was divine. The baby would grow up and be crucial to the development of Africa; his influence would be far-reaching and touch many generations to come. The shaman disclosed that the fruit of her womb was the embodiment of a revelation that had been made long ago. The prophecy foretold that a child was to be born to a woman in the South of Africa who had nothing to her name. It proclaimed that this woman’s son would be a very special and gifted person and that he was destined to become the King of the Zulus. The medicine man informed the woman that this was the very reason that he could do what wanted; there could be no abortion!

The woman moaned in despair: “But I have no husband, I have no livelihood, and I have no where to live. How can I possibly take care of this child? How can I ever give him even a small part of what he needs in life? There is no way out. There is no solution. Both my child and I are doomed!” The shaman shook his head and let the woman know that there certainly was a solution and that it was very simple: She must trust in the Gods.

The woman’s confusion became even greater. There was a soothsayer who had made a prophecy a long time ago; he had foreseen the birth of a powerful and mighty sovereign. Was it credible that she was the one who was chosen to bear the future King of the Zulus? She could hardly believe it. How could this be? And what was she to do? The medicine man had not helped her in the way she had hoped. He had pointed in another direction. She was baffled, even desolate. In despair and as hard as it was for her to do, she left the medicine man’s hut. She went on her way and wandered the fields and through the forest. Because she had no house to go to she had to live from day-to-day and was dependent upon the kindness of the villagers.

1-2After six month’s time she gave birth to a baby boy. When she saw this small, delicate and vulnerable being her heart swelled with joy and happiness. Never had she seen such a beautiful child, never had she felt the warmth and protective instinct that now took hold of her. The new mother held her son in her arms and looked tenderly at him. A feeling of calmness took hold of her. She sang sweetly to her newborn boy and unfolded the prophecy of the soothsayer in the verses that she sung. Every night the baby fell asleep to the same lullaby, the chanting of the words of the prophecy. Her son came to know in this sweet fashion that he was destined to be the King of the Zulus. She conveyed this message to him melodiously each and every day of the years to come. With all her heart she believed it and the young child came to believe it too.

The two of them survived the hard times by eating what was left of the bread that the villagers did not want anymore. They wore discarded rags. Some of the kinder villagers let the mother and her newborn son sleep at their home. With the gracious help of the inhabitants of the village they were fed, clothed and protected from the elements. The youngster and his mother went from hut to hut, stayed where they could, and left when they felt that it was time to go. Every night the mother sang to her beloved son that one day he would be King of the Zulus.

By the time the boy was three years-old he had made many friends among the children of the villagers who had let him and his mother spend the nights at their huts. Every now and then he told his friends: “Listen to me: I am to be the future King of the Zulus”. They played along with the boy’s story. Sometimes they wondered if it all was one big fantasy. But that didn’t really matter to them at the time, they did have fun together. This youthful King-to-be picked out one of his playmates and said to him: “You can be my general”. To another one: “You can be my governor”. Everyone he played with had a role to fulfil. As these children played together they practiced the roles that had been assigned to them.

The young boy had the gift of insight and an eye for the talents that each of his mates possessed. He could envisage what the best role was for each of his companions and inspired them to play their roles well. The young friends spent the years to come working hard and playing hard; together they formed a young-man’s empire. The general practiced and became the best six year-old general that one could be. The same was true for the governor. And this eager boy who directed his friends’ actions in their animated games became, of course, the best young King-to-be that anyone could ever imagine.

When the lad turned eight, he directed his focus towards other tribes. Because he knew that one day he would be King of the Zulus, he wanted to have a very good perspective of how other tribes went about their ways. One of the first things that he noticed was how poorly organized they all were. They spent much of their time provoking, challenging, and defying each other. They communicated primarily by screaming at one another. They did not fight, no, not really. They just made a lot of noise, swayed with their arms, and made threatening movements with their bodies. He understood that this was not the way that things should be done. His thoughts developed as he observed these ongoing rituals.

Eventually he came to the conclusion that: “If you had a job to do and a task to fulfil, you just have to settle down and do it. But, to do it well, you have to be well-trained, disciplined, and driven”. He put his ideas into practice. The youngster instructed the members of his group to exercise, to groom themselves, and to become the best soldiers in the world. Together they trained barefoot and ran for miles and miles until the soles of their feet were hardened. But they did not stop there, they trained even more. The young leader disciplined his warriors to hit their adversaries hard, but, he also taught them how to take a powerful blow themselves.

Using this training regime he cultivated his own army. His militia became the best in the region, in fact they were invincible. By the time he was twelve, the young fellow had an army comprised of one hundred and twenty soldiers. After all those years of training, the designated child-general had become an adolescent commander who commissioned his troops with authority. And the friend who had been appointed to be the governor matured into an astute, fair, and just young supervisor.

The word of this amazing army spread to all the regions of the Kingdom. The man who was King of the Zulus at that moment also came to hear of this army that was composed of warriors who were so very well-trained and yet so young. He certainly did not like what he heard.

All of the inhabitants of the South of Africa, including the present King of the Zulus, knew of the prophecy of a newborn King-to-be. The Gods had told the high priests, and they, in turn, told their following of what was to come. When the King heard about the young boy who was forming his own army he became wary that what had been prophesized long ago was coming to pass before his very own eyes. This notion upset him immensely. He felt intimidated and was fearful that his secure position was in danger and his omnipotence was being threatened. This should and could not be! He decided that intervention was absolutely necessary and forged a plan. He let his advisory council know that he wanted the boy to be killed. He could not risk having his empire being jeopardized by the army of a boy of twelve. What if indeed this youngster was to conquer the present King and take over his realm? There was no doubt in the mind of the King: “This boy has to be stopped! I must slaughter him.”

The council, however, was not convinced that this was the way to solve this very grave problem. Killing the boy for no justifiable reason would most certainly lead to uproar. The whole nation would protest and turn against the rulers. “What we must do instead”, the council told the King, “is to ban him from the kingdom. Command him to leave and to take his mother with him! This is what we must do.” The pair would have to move on to protect the King from a takeover, but, there were others dangers lurking in the background as well. The council believed that the mother of the lad was a witch because in their eyes she had cast a spell. And she had poisoned her son to believe that he had powers that could not be. She was a temptress who had seduced the present King many years ago. The product of that night of pleasure could only be misery. They feared her potency and proclaimed that she must go. And what the council advised took place.

That very night the boy and his mother were banned from the kingdom and forced to depart forever. They had to leave the protected confinement of the domain. They were sent where there was no fire to keep them warm and to protect them from wild animals, no well to drink from, and no trees to safeguard them from invaders. The King and his council had sent them off and they had no choice but to leave.

The first night they slept in a tree outside of the kingdom. Sleeping in the branches, they had a certain sense of safety. But they could not fall asleep right away, so the mother told her son all about the universe and the stars. She pointed to the twinkling stars and explained to him how that these globular objects were just like the Gods. “These celestial bodies watch over us and take care of us. They are our guardians and will protect us from evil.” And, with these fantastic and comforting thoughts in mind they finally fell asleep.

The next morning the sun shined brightly as they awakened. When they looked around they saw that all the animals had gathered together and were marching en masse in an unexpected direction. The beasts were heading towards a forest that all the inhabitants of the kingdom were forbidden to go to. No one dared to enter it for fear of the consequences.

The lad, however, was fascinated by the parade of the beasts. He told his mother that he wanted to follow them. “I want to go into the hidden forest and see where they are going and what they are doing”. His mother did not like what she heard, became frightened, and told him that he could not go there because it was too dangerous. “It is the hidden forest and the King and the council have forbidden us to go into it”. “But mother”, he cried, “The King and his council go into the hidden forest themselves, why can’t we? Because he has banned us from his kingdom, he no longer rules over us”. His mother could hardly protest, so she conceded: “Alright, you follow the animals and I will wait in the tree till you get back”.

He climbed down and followed them. A mile deep into the woods he saw that the wild creatures were headed towards a big lake. There was plenty of fresh water in the lake and all the animals partook of it and quenched their thirst. As he watched them swallow the refreshing water it finally dawned on him why this forest and the lake situated in it was forbidden terrain for all the inhabitants of the kingdom. The young wanderer realized that no one was allowed to find out about this lake in the forest nor would they be allowed to drink from it because the King and his council were keeping it to themselves. They did not want to share the clear water with anyone else. This was how the King “took care of his subjects!” This was another confirmation of how necessary it was that the King be dethroned.

Once again the boy turned his attention back to the animals for he was fascinated by what he saw; he noticed a pattern. First the lions drank, then the tigers, after them the elephants, zebras and giraffes. He understood that there was a certain order to things. There was a hierarchy, even among the animals. And this hierarchy allowed for sharing.

As he watched the animals drink it dawned on him that he could partake of the water too, and, his mother could quench her thirst as well. They would never die from a lack of water. But, in addition to realizing that he could share this precious liquid with his mother, he became conscious of the fact that he could also share it with the villagers who were his subjects-to-be when he became King. All of them could come to the lake, because that would not be forbidden when he was King. His next insight was that the water could be transported as well. He would start straight off by getting some water to his mother. And, so be it; he filled a gourd that lay on the ground and began his journey back to the tree that his mother was waiting for him in.

On his return trip he came across some monkeys that were eating grass and was fascinated by what he saw. Their eating ceremony was most astounding. They began by chewing the grass and then spitting it out. Subsequently they made flat cakes from the product that resulted from their chewing, and left it to dry on the stones that were scattered around the surroundings. These stones had absorbed the heat of the sun that was shining so fiercely upon them, and, the patties baked as the warmth penetrated them. Some of the dried patties had been placed on a pile. Why was that? As it turned out, the monkeys saved these dried cakes so that they could eat them at a later moment in time. The wise lesson that could be learned from the monkeys was one which the boy and his mother could make use of too. They could also make these patties. This way they would always have food at their disposal and would not have to die of starvation either.

When the lad arrived at the tree that his mother was waiting in, he gave her water to drink and grass patties to eat. She was overjoyed and complimented her son profusely. She let him know how good it was that he had followed his own instincts and had broken the rules. “Listen to me, my son. What you have done is what only a real King would have done. You have followed your heart’s call.” His mother’s words once again gave the boy confirmation of the fact that he was a real King!

By gathering the products the forest had to offer the boy and his mother built a hut that they could live in together. They kindled a fire by using a branch that was still glowing from lightening that had struck it. And they partook of the food and drink that they brought to their hut. The two relished every moment of their new found bounty and cherished the sense of safety that they had created together. And life could take on its peaceful course. A sense of tranquillity ensued, but there was more than peace alone. Some days the youngster had to protect himself and his mother from animals that threatened their existence. He fought a lion and won. He fought with the elephants and won. And bit by bit he became stronger and stronger, both physically and mentally. His spirit also grew more powerful and dynamic. As the two of them continued to thrive, to fight, and to revel in their earthly prosperity, the lad developed into an astounding young man.

When he turned eighteen the young man let his mother know that the time had come to return to the kingdom and to make claim to his birthright. After six years of having been banned from the kingdom that was soon to be his own the two of them went back. They entered the kingdom and greeted all the inhabitants they encountered. The villagers did recognize them but could not believe their eyes. They were very surprised and impressed that the pair had survived after so many years of what they were convinced must have been hardship. Mother and son travelled on and walked straight into the court of the King who had banished them.

In the years that had gone by the old King had become fat and lazy. He surrounded himself with his five wives and he drank and smoked himself into a stupor. The young adult who had come back to this kingdom to reclaim what now was to be his walked directly up to the King and said: “You are sitting on my throne and wearing my crown. Get off the throne and take that crown off of your head!” And as he said this he took hold of the dagger that he had made from marble he had found in the quarry. He noted how sharp the blade was for he had worked many hours to assure that the knife would slash through anything that its cutting edge met. With this weapon he stabbed the King to death. The very next thing that this daring young man did was to remove the crown from the dead King’s head and put it on his own. He pushed the inanimate body of the King aside and discarded it at a safe distance from the throne that now belonged to him.

Finally, after many years of hardship he had grown up to be the man he was that day. He was destined to be the new King and did everything that was necessary to achieve that regal position. One of his most awe-inspiring deeds was to slay the King. But, unbeknownst to him, this brave young man had killed his own father. He had conquered his forbearer and predecessor and proved himself to be even more powerful than the man who had denounced him. As time passed it would become evident that he was far more just and gifted than his father ever was.

And so this courageous young man took his rightful place on the throne of the King. As he did so he turned to his mother and swelled with pride as he said: “You are now the King-Mother, be seated next to me. We are finally where we belong.” The villagers were joyous that this magnificent new King took the throne. They cheered and welcomed their imperial leader who they called: Tsjakkaa, King of the Zulus.

He bore this title well and with honor. From that day on Tsjakkaa ruled the tribe and ruled it admirably. A lad who had nothing to his name had realized his potential and had deservedly taken seat on the throne of the King. The kingdom flourished and as time went by many adjacent tribes were annexed. All the inhabitants shared in the abundance of the land. In the years to come the Zulu King gained power over more than three quarters of the South of Africa. Together they formed a strong African nation and all the tribes that formed the realm of Tsjakkaa were able to conquer the foreign invaders of their nation. They thwarted the British, the Dutch, the French, and the Germans. Tsjakkaa was a very powerful and a very good King. During his rule there was prosperity in the land and there was wealth and fortune among all the inhabitants of his dominion.

As so many good tales do, this story also has a moral: “Dare to be yourself.” Follow the example of Tsjakkaa, who had nothing to begin with, no father, no relatives, no education. He had nothing to his name. But what he did have was the belief that his mother had given him: That one day he would become the King of the Zulus. This story, and this book, is all about belief. About what you believe, and, what you think you are. Be who you can be and do what you can do. Achieve yourself. Tsjakkaa did it and you can do it too!

1-3The epic of Tsjakkaa Zulu tells the true history of a hero in Africa. The tale was an important source of inspiration for this book and the namesake of the hero forms the credo of the book as well: ‘Tsjakkaa’. Its sound will continue to ring in your ears.

The story of Tsjakkaa is symbolic for your life. As the tale unfolds, the narrative comes to life. Envisioning the fable makes its meaning clear. Its metaphorical sense can empower you and aid you to be yourself, to sustain and to flourish. The tale is an enlightening story and unfolds a revelation at once: What you believe in is the anchor of the ship you have christened ‘My Life’. Your beliefs guide you in the actions you take, have a direct impact on the direction of your life, and aid you in achieving what you want in life. You just have to know how to believe, how to stay attuned to your true convictions, and how to act upon them.

The account that follows is meant to entice you and to prickle your senses. I hope to present you with material that will give you insight into yourself and show you how you can best make use of the talents you have.

May, 2015

The saga of Tsjakkaa as I tell it here was inspired by the true story of Shaka Zulu (1787 – 1828) who was one of the most influential rulers of the Zulu empire. Under his leadership the Zulu kingdom encompassed a good deal of the eastern part of South Africa. I may have embellished upon the tale but have done so in the spirit of the fire enkindled in me when I learned of the valor of this true hero.

Chapter 2

Steadfastness is

the illusion of every era

Clarity

Awareness is clarity. If you think about what your possibilities are, your conclusions will be astounding. Awareness implies a clearness in perception and understanding. It entails a freedom from indistinctness or ambiguity. When there is clarity you are aware of your emotions, aware of where you are now. You can make decisions. You are able to position yourself in reality. This is pure. And if you keep your reality free from the muck and residue of emotions that tarnish your awareness, then your brain shall triumph, and you will be able to solve all the challenges that life confronts you with. However, this process calls for consciousness and circumspection.

Our Comfort-zone

Our comfort-zone is agreeable to us. We all tend towards staying there because it is snug and we fell content in it. This applies to all aspects of our lives including our relationship, health, work, financial status, sports, etc. Generally speaking, we are creatures of habit, and consider our attachment to our comfort-zone as just being ‘our disposition’. The same is true in the broader scheme of society, the city, state or country we live in, the company we work for, social structures. All are prone to hang on to what they know best and feel comfortable with: “He who is steadfast will remain upright”. It is often more difficult to objectively judge ourselves within the well-defined and somewhat limited world of the daily life we lead. It is easier to see what is going on in more distant structures than it is to consider our own personal situation. But looking at the broader structures does aid in understanding how it works.

Within politics for example, politicians proclaim a certain belief and adhere to a particular policy with regard to pollution, economic planning, birth-rate, foreign affairs and they keep on doing this because they have a guideline that they abide by. They are steadfast in their standpoints. Successful companies have the tendency to stick to producing the products they make best. This is the case for e.g., Samsung (electronic products), Apple (computers), Buick (cars), McDonalds (hamburgers), Walmart (retail goods).

Our social structures remain quite stable as well: men marry women, one child is enough, grandparents take care of the children while the parents work or children go to school while their parents work, when we have a vacation we go back to our hometown. So everybody adheres to the standards that are pertinent to the domain in question, and so they maintain a sense of control over their own way of being and doing. And when we have control over our lives, business, relationships, companies, countries, etc. we don’t have to think anymore.

 The Five steps of Control

The five phases that are the preamble to obtaining and holding on to control are intricately intertwined with the steps one takes on the road to change. The phases and the corresponding steps accompanying them can be described as follows:

1. Unconscious incompetent

we don’t know that we don’t ‘know’ or that we don’t ‘do’

You are not aware of not knowing something because that knowledge is not yet available to you. For example, there was a time that you didn’t know that money existed. As a child, you grabbed everything you saw in the shop and wanted to have. Then you put it in the shopping cart just like your mother did. But she protested and told you that she didn’t have enough money to buy all the things you wanted. This disappointed you of course because you couldn’t take all those nice things home with you. And it didn’t really make any sense to you either.

Another fitting example is the way you learned to color. The first time you colored in a drawing, you mixed, matched, and filled in all the hues to your heart’s desire because you were not aware of the lines that marked the form of the figure.

Another example is what happens to someone who moves from the countryside to a big city. There they see the many commodities of modern life for the first time. In awe, they stare at the high speed train that comes racing by. The same is true when they see McDonalds, computers, neon advertisements, skyscrapers, etc. for the first time. Up until then, the newcomers didn’t know that these things existed. But because they didn’t even know that they were there, they didn’t miss them. The awareness was not there.

2. Conscious incompetent

we know what we don’t ‘know’ or don’t ‘do’

Suddenly we become aware; we realize that there are lines outlining the figure in our coloring book, that money is needed to buy our favorite article, that we are unable to drive a car, that we are unable to use the text-function of the smart-phone, that we don’t know how to approach the different sex. The moment arrives that we realize that we don’t know how to make money, write a book, make a phone call, how to dance, how to cross the street, how to see differently through our own eyes. You realize that something is missing.

3. We create the need to learn

At a certain moment in time we realize that we want to be like our example, or we want to possess the article that someone else is already using or that we’ve seen in an advertisement. So we create a need ourselves. If you don’t become curious or don’t realize that a certain behavior, product, service, etc. can increase the quality of your life, then you won’t progress on to step number four. That’s why you walk, talk, drive a car, study, communicate, buy, sell, smoke, partake in sports, write, etc.: Because there was a need to start learning. The need creates the desire. And, if you have a desire to learn, you become passionate.

4. Conscious competent

we know what to ‘know’ or what to ‘do’

Remember how you learned to drive a car, ride a bicycle, write, walk, speak, play tennis, etc.? You didn’t learn to do these things by reading a book about them; you learned these skills by practicing them, through trial-and-error. You fell down, you made a mistake, you failed, you broke something, but you were using your brain, each step of the way you were thinking: “Now I have to do this, now I have to that, now I have to … “. You used your brain before, during, and after every move. And mistake after mistake you learned to accept that this craft, facility was becoming part of your skill repertoire. It now belonged to you. In this ongoing process you were (re)-thinking the steps while practicing them.

5. Unconscious competent

we don’t know what we are ‘knowing’ or ‘doing’

Do you know how you got out of bed this morning? You have to think about it because you don’t remember straight away. It’s something you did without thinking. Have you ever driven away from home and wondered afterwards if you had turned off the lights, closed the garage door?

Do you ever think about your strategy of always having a shortage of money, or, have you ever thought about the fact that you are always too late?

Why did you fall in love with your husband or wife?

How about when I asked you to come up to the stage while a thousand people were watching you, when you hesitated or blushed?

What happens in your head when a passerby asks you: “Can you tell me the way to Tiananmen Square?” and your answer is: “Take the first street left, then continue straight ahead for half a mile, and then turn right three times, and then, after another half a mile you go left again and you are there”.

You do so many things without realizing exactly what actions you take while you carry out your task. You perform, drink, smoke, and walk, etc., without really being aware of what you are doing. The autopilot mechanism is directing you on your way.

2-1If you scrutinize the phases discussed above, it becomes apparent that the same developmental facets also apply to companies, relationships, countries, governments and all kinds of organizations as well as they apply to you. The aspects underlying the processes are similar.

The transition from a crossroad to a roundabout is a good example of how this works. What does it take to change an at-grade intersection into a roundabout? What steps take place in the whole decision-making process?

First an at-grade intersection is built because that seemed to be the obvious thing to do

Unconscious incompetent – we don’t know that we don’t ‘know’ or that we don’t ‘do’.

There was no real awareness of the dangers.

Then the complaints start coming and many traffic victims fall as time passes by. The realization of how unsafe the roundabout is becomes a fact (Conscious incompetent – we know what we don’t ‘know’ or don’t ‘do’).

And this realization leads to us wanting to do it in another way. A new situation must ensue; the need has arisen to make the intersection safer (A need has been created). The policy makers decide to put up a stop sign, then a stoplight, a flashing light signal, assign a police officer to direct traffic. By this time, much money has been spent, many years have gone by and many deaths have fallen.

We re-think the matter (Conscious competent – we know what to ‘know’ or what to ‘do’). And then creativity takes over and it finally occurs to someone at the traffic department to propose changing the intersection into a roundabout (Unconscious competent – we don’t know what we are ‘knowing’ or ‘doing’). After the roundabout is built the problem now solves itself in the sense that drivers now have to slow down, put their foot on their brakes before they go on the roundabout because otherwise they will crash into the traffic obstacle.

Now the drivers are able to function on auto-pilot because of what the government officials have finally done. How many deaths and decades did it take to achieve that result? This is the process that has taken place in the “head” of the government.

Colonies in Africa

Another interesting example is related to Dutch, Belgian, French and German colonies in Africa. These countries had occupied the colonies for many centuries and had utilized all the natural resources to the fullest. As time passed, and this was especially true during the 1940s and 1950s, the colonials left the occupied territories because more and more of the colonies declared their independence. Development assistance, in the form of funds, then followed. This took place in order to help the colonies, to support them, and aid them in their attempts to rebuild their nations; it seemed natural to do so. (Unconscious incompetent – we don’t know that we don’t ‘know’ or that we don’t ‘do’). There was no real awareness of what the most effective strategy would be. However, the aid that the colonials offered was not the assistance that the former colonies needed to thrive best; would they ever realize this? (Conscious incompetent – we know what we don’t ‘know’ or don’t ‘do’). There was a need for more, for something else (We create the need to learn). It became evident that there was a gap between what was given and what was needed. A solution was wanting and needed to be found (Create). At that point in time, a country from afar, China, stepped in with a new approach: instead of giving just financial aid they commenced trading with these new countries (Conscious competent – we know what to ‘know’ or what to ‘do’). The Chinese had a different point of view and approached the Africans in a different fashion [(re)-thinking]. Not only did this prove to be a rewarding tactic because products could be exchanged, but it provided the African traders with a newfound feeling of self-esteem. The Chinese considered their African counterparts to be their equals and traded materials for building roads bridges and railroads for the products that the countries produced. They operated as a healthy business enterprise should, and, traded with the Africans. The colonials had not done this because they were caught up in the stream of being unconscious competent. They operated on autopilot and suppressed and stifled the inhabitants of the former colonies, because that was their comfort zone.

The challenge

The challenge is to recognize where you are in your state of unconscious competence. This area is your comfort zone; you have a sense of steadfastness, and won’t leave it arbitrarily. You have to have a very good reason for getting out of your comfort zone; you’re not readily inclined to go from comfortable to uncomfortable. In fact, you are in control now without having conscious control. Your challenge is to pinpoint and acknowledge your position in your state of unconscious competence. This is necessary to facilitate change. And to change you go to step number one again.

How much will it cost you to leave your secure area?

Once you realize the point that you are at in your state of unconscious competence, you have met the challenge.

The next step now presents itself. “Shall I try something else?” When you consider venturing out of your comfort zone, the question that you most probably ask yourself is:

“What will my yield be if
I set foot in the new area?”

The answer is: You don’t know. The fact is: You have to wager a bet. This implies that you take a risk once you leave your trusted area; you might have regrets afterwards. You never know ahead of time. Perhaps the direction that you are considering taking is new for you. It may feel unsafe because new and unknown discoveries may be the result. And the unknown is threatening. When it comes to unfamiliar territory, you just have to either: ‘jump’, even though you have no sense of security whatsoever, or, otherwise ‘stay put’. That is the choice that you make. But, if you think about it, you will become aware of the fact that your whole life has been full of experiences that you have had to adapt to. And you have been flexible, been accommodating, and have changed. You have trained yourself, often without even knowing that you were training. This is true in everybody’s life. Are you able to recognize this?

Exercise

A) Make a list of ten situations that you felt comfortable in and which subsequently changed.

E.g., your favorite teacher went away and an unknown teacher took her place. Or, a really good friend left you because he had to move away from your hometown and you were left behind.

1.